Five Words You Need To Stop Misspelling...NOW.

1. Lose & Loose

Lose: The Opposite of Win
Loose: Not Tight. Pretend the extra O is a hemorrhoid on the word. Hemorrhoids are never tight.

2. Weird - Not wierd

Every time you spell it like WIERD, the incorrect way, a dolphin gets run over by a jet ski. Beware!

e then i
Remember it like this:
We..ir..d = We...are (ir)...dangerous (d) to those dumb, dirty dolphins.

3. Their, They're & There

Their: Possessive, meaning it owns something.
They're: A Contraction for "they are."
There: Refers to a place or idea. (Use this form if unsure.)

For example:

Their
"I hate our new neighbors. Their cow keeps eating the leftover casserole."

In this case, their is referring to the neighbors who own a cow.

They're
"They're gonna get a shovel to the face unless they get that cow under control. No one eats my casserole."

In this case, they're means "they are."

There
"Look over there! An alien just burst out of that cow's chest!"

In this case, there is referring to a location.
It can also refer to something more abstract:

"There are many reasons to discipline a cow.
For starters, a cow who eats rancid casserole
will later become a host for alien parasites."

4. Your & You're

These both use the same rules as "their" and "they're."

Your is possessive.
In other words, you own something.

Your baby alien loves to cuddle,
but he keeps crapping in your
refrigerator at night.

This is referring to your alien
and your refrigerator.

You're is a contraction of "you are."

You're definitely cleaning out the fridge
tomorrow morning, assuming that little
beast can't keep his bowls in check.

This translates to "you are definitely cleaning..."

5. It's & Its

It's: A Contraction for it is or it has.
If you can replace it's with it is or it has,
then use it's in your sentence.

Its: This is indicating possession.
Use this when one thing own another.

For example:
It's not fair that Randy gets to ride a wolverine to school, but I have to ride this stupid manatee!
The wolverine knows only death, pain, and slaughter. Also, its thick, black fur is good for exfoliating the thighs during a long ride.



Please remember to use these worlds correctly. Or someday I will have a baby parasite alien attack your stomach.
The End.